People always say I have done so many hard things in my life. They look at Peace Corps, my travels, and moving to different countries as something that is difficult. They read my other blog (which I haven't updated in AGES but I used to write about all my travels on http://jessicasrants.blogspot.com/) and think it sounds hard. I wrote about the amazing things I would discover in new countries/cultures and of course always included the times I got sick. It is entertaining. When I traveled, I didn't hang out at the Hiltons/Sheratons/Meridians /Intercontinental hotels in the capitals, I was in the rural areas; where I feel at home. I would be traveling by tuk-tuk, donkey, helicopter, overcrowded bus, land-cruiser on non-existent roads, and by foot. It is inevitable that when you are in rural areas, you will get bugs (worms, bacteria, parasites, viruses, etc). So often I have written about vomiting in varying conditions--off trains, for the dog to eat, into pit latrines, in the middle of crowded markets, etc. I suppose that sounds hard--but you have to remember those were just a blip of time in my travels. Most of the time I was meeting amazing people, learning about different cultures and religions, trying amazing food, and experiencing things that surpass my ability to explain.
Moving to new countries where I know no one is not hard for me, it was fun. An adventure. So much fun I can't explain it. Living in low-income countries is a pleasure--a treat. Something I truly wish you all could experience, truly. No where else can you really learn to focus on what is important in life--and really find happiness. True happiness. Peace Corps. Grad School. whatever--all of these had their hard moments, not necessarily when I was vomiting or ill otherwise, but other moments that were difficult. Most people would be surprised to hear that for Peace Corps, the HARDEST part for most volunteers is feelings of loneliness. Its a strange thing to be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people, and feel lonely. In all my travels, in all my time living abroad you get over what most people think is hard: squatting to pee (I actually prefer it now--i know, you think I am nuts), living without electricity, no running water, not having access to food you know/like, and fill in the blank with what you think. You get over those things very quickly. But in between those hard moments were AMAZING moments: teaching children, changing lives, visiting sites that don't exist in tourist books, and some of the most spiritual experiences of my life. I got to meet and work with mothers and children on 4 continents. Something I wouldn't trade for the world. I was able to see things others only dream of--all because of the amazing career I chose. Being able to see the difference I am making in the world. I know each of us has an impact on the world, I do NOT want to diminish the role others play--but in doing what I do it is easier to see the impact. A stay at home mom has a MAJOR impact on the world, but there is little if anything in her day to day life that reminds her of the importance and value of her work. All parents have an impact on the world--something you can't really see b/c it is down the road. In my job I get to see the difference I make in the world. I have been tremendously spoiled in my life. There are a million more places I'd love to go and things I'd love to do, but I do recognize coming from the wee town of Mapleton, Utah, who when I was growing up maybe reached 2 thousand people, and now many years later just crossed the 8 thousand people mark, I got to go far. Very very far. But, i don't see any of it as difficult. It was a pleasure. Truly.
Cancer--breast cancer while pregnant--for me, this is the first hard thing I have ever done. Balancing chemotherapy, 800 doctors appointments, pregnancy, working, taking care of an ENERGETIC toddler, keeping up with my home, supporting my husband, life--this is hard. I have a lot of support. My husband has been a saint, my church amazing, and my family very helpful. But, life doesn't stop just because someone tells you you have cancer. For the first time, when this is all over, I will be able to say--I have accomplished something that is very difficult. For the first time I will feel strong. I will feel I have done something difficult. Granted given the choice, I could have gone my whole life without "feeling strong" and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I have realized for the first time in my life I will feel I have accomplished something.
Moving to new countries where I know no one is not hard for me, it was fun. An adventure. So much fun I can't explain it. Living in low-income countries is a pleasure--a treat. Something I truly wish you all could experience, truly. No where else can you really learn to focus on what is important in life--and really find happiness. True happiness. Peace Corps. Grad School. whatever--all of these had their hard moments, not necessarily when I was vomiting or ill otherwise, but other moments that were difficult. Most people would be surprised to hear that for Peace Corps, the HARDEST part for most volunteers is feelings of loneliness. Its a strange thing to be surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people, and feel lonely. In all my travels, in all my time living abroad you get over what most people think is hard: squatting to pee (I actually prefer it now--i know, you think I am nuts), living without electricity, no running water, not having access to food you know/like, and fill in the blank with what you think. You get over those things very quickly. But in between those hard moments were AMAZING moments: teaching children, changing lives, visiting sites that don't exist in tourist books, and some of the most spiritual experiences of my life. I got to meet and work with mothers and children on 4 continents. Something I wouldn't trade for the world. I was able to see things others only dream of--all because of the amazing career I chose. Being able to see the difference I am making in the world. I know each of us has an impact on the world, I do NOT want to diminish the role others play--but in doing what I do it is easier to see the impact. A stay at home mom has a MAJOR impact on the world, but there is little if anything in her day to day life that reminds her of the importance and value of her work. All parents have an impact on the world--something you can't really see b/c it is down the road. In my job I get to see the difference I make in the world. I have been tremendously spoiled in my life. There are a million more places I'd love to go and things I'd love to do, but I do recognize coming from the wee town of Mapleton, Utah, who when I was growing up maybe reached 2 thousand people, and now many years later just crossed the 8 thousand people mark, I got to go far. Very very far. But, i don't see any of it as difficult. It was a pleasure. Truly.
Cancer--breast cancer while pregnant--for me, this is the first hard thing I have ever done. Balancing chemotherapy, 800 doctors appointments, pregnancy, working, taking care of an ENERGETIC toddler, keeping up with my home, supporting my husband, life--this is hard. I have a lot of support. My husband has been a saint, my church amazing, and my family very helpful. But, life doesn't stop just because someone tells you you have cancer. For the first time, when this is all over, I will be able to say--I have accomplished something that is very difficult. For the first time I will feel strong. I will feel I have done something difficult. Granted given the choice, I could have gone my whole life without "feeling strong" and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I have realized for the first time in my life I will feel I have accomplished something.
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